For the past few days, I have really been struggling with negative body image. I’ve found a million reasons to hate myself and the way I look, and honestly it’s really affected me.
Normally I would say I am pretty confident about myself but this weekend has been different and I can’t think why.
I finally confided in Nick after trying to brush it off for a couple of days but he already knew something was up. I had just been sad. I had kept to myself and found it hard to be intimate. Once I started talking it all just came out.
I’m lucky that Nick is so understanding and so accepting of who I am; he tells me all the time it doesn’t matter to him what I look like. I know this much is true but sometimes you can’t help not feeling good about yourself.
This has really come out of the blue as I’ve actually had a very good week food-wise. I’ve stuck to plan 110% and have even ventured out for a couple of jogs (getting back into it slowly). But following on from my last post, I’ve really started to come to terms with my eating addiction so maybe this is just part of the process of accepting who I am, flaws and all.
I’ve realised that it’s perfectly acceptable to not love yourself all of the time. But rather than focusing on what I don’t like about me, I’m choosing to focus on the things I love about me.
I love my hair
I love my butt
I love my ability to get back up after every knock down
I love my determination
Today the list is short but this is the beginning to learning to love myself more.